The Joy of New Connections
There is something wonderful (but also a little nerve-wrecking) about walking into a weekend not knowing exactly who you’ll meet - and walking away richer because of the people you did.
I will admit, even though I spend much of my working life talking about connection, walking into a room full of people I don’t know can still feel
uncomfortable.
Last weekend, I attended Big Ideas and Barefoot Conversations, a beautiful Nourish Travel retreat in the Tallebudgera Valley, created by Mandi Gunsberger. There was nature, yoga, cooking, laughter, good food and wonderful conversations - including time with Annabel Crabb.
Her session on how to write so people don’t die of boredom was delivered with warmth, humour and generosity. Somehow, Annabel managed to cook, chop, stir, talk, tell stories and answer questions without missing a beat. I’m not sure I could manage any two of those things at once.
One story particularly made me laugh. We heard that the dog “Colin” from Colin From Accounts loves being on the show so much that he doesn’t even mind having his little brace put on. Such a small, joyful detail - but one I’m still smiling about.
What stayed with me from the whole weekend was the joy of new connection.
New people. New stories. Conversations around tables. Shared laughter. Those lovely moments when you discover something unexpected about someone you’ve only just met. Watching sisters and mothers/daughters interact with such kindness and love. It was just beautiful and inspiring to be around.
We often think about social fitness as nurturing the relationships we already have. But it’s also about staying open to new ones.
Saying hello first. Sitting beside someone you don’t know. Being curious. And perhaps asking a better question than the usual, “What do you do?”
I love the work of Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioural researcher, bestselling author and founder of Science of People, who explores the science of communication and human connection.
Her work has encouraged me to think differently about the questions we ask when we meet someone new.
Instead of “What do you do?”, try:
“What have you enjoyed most this week?”
I love that question. It takes us somewhere different.
Because not every new connection needs to become a lifelong friendship to matter. A conversation can brighten an afternoon, spark an idea, shift our perspective or simply remind us how interesting other humans can be.
And yes, making that first move might feel a little uncomfortable.
Perhaps that’s part of social fitness too.
Talk to someone new. Ask a better question. Stay curious.
You never quite know where one small moment of connection might lead.
Connection changes everything - including the people we haven’t met yet.
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